My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains
One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk
Ode to a Nightingale. John Keats
Today we discover that having tonsillitis as an adult is no fun at all. I have strangely fond memories of sick days as a child, and they are mostly food-related: tiny star-shaped pasta in vegetable broth, endless cups of decaffeinated tea with lemon and sugar, the occasional ice cream to soothe a blazing hot throat.
Back then, no matter how serious the illness, the pain was somehow eased by the knowledge that I didn’t have to go to school, by augmented care and attentions on behalf of my parents, and by the normally illicit pleasures of daytime television. In 1980s Italy, this included such gems as endless repeats of The Dukes of Hazzard and The Bad News Bears - two formative texts which no doubt influenced my great love of Americana - and some unbelievably naff quiz shows called Il pranzo è servito and Bis.
There is no pleasure whatsoever in being sick as a grown-up. Yuck. I feel like bed-bound Keats listening to the nightingale’s song, tuberculotic Chekhov on his death-bed (minus the champagne), or post-partum Anna Karenina (minus the morphine). Bring on La Bohème.
I’m a hypochondriac and this sounds melodramatic, yes. But I’ve had a 102°F fever for the past 4 days, my throat is a swollen bacterial inferno, every single inch of my body has ached at some point or another, I have no appetite at all and the mere thought of ice cream sends me shivering. I kid ye not, I could list impending death amongst the symptoms.



![[Edgar (Christoph Waltz) and Gloucester (Jürgen Holz) in Robert Wilson’s King Lear (Act IV, Scene vi) for the Frankfurter Schauspiel at Bockenheimer Depot, Frankfurt am Main, 1990]
SCENE VI. Fields near Dover. Enter GLOUCESTER, and EDGAR dressed like a peasant GLOUCESTER When shall we come to the top of that same hill? EDGAR You do climb up it now: look, how we labour. GLOUCESTER Methinks the ground is even. EDGAR Horrible steep. Hark! Do you hear the sea? GLOUCESTER No, truly. EDGAR Why, then, your other senses grow imperfect By your eyes’ anguish. (…) EDGAR Come on, sir; here’s the place: stand still. How fearful And dizzy ‘tis, to cast one’s eyes so low! The crows and choughs that wing the midway air Show scarce so gross as beetles: half way down Hangs one that gathers samphire, dreadful trade! Methinks he seems no bigger than his head: The fishermen, that walk upon the beach, Appear like mice; and yond tall anchoring bark, Diminish’d to her cock; her cock, a buoy Almost too small for sight: the murmuring surge, That on the unnumber’d idle pebbles chafes, Cannot be heard so high. I’ll look no more; Lest my brain turn, and the deficient sight Topple down headlong.
This is one of the most powerful and grotesque scenes in Shakespeare’s King Lear. Here Edgar, the disgraced son of the Duke of Gloucester, appears in disguise as mad beggar Poor Tom o’Bedlam, and pretends to help his father to commit suicide by jumping off the cliffs of Dover and into the sea.
Gloucester doesn’t recognise his own son because his eyes have been gouged out by one of the King’s daughters. (Eat your heart out, Quentin Tarantino.) The reason why Gloucester can’t “hear the sea” is that they are nowhere near the edge of the cliffs; of course he can’t see that Edgar is not leading him towards death, but rather on the path to self-acceptance and survival in a brutal, traumatic world.
By losing his eyes Gloucester regains his insight, and finally recognises his own blindness in believing the accusations made by his bastard son Edmund, which led to Edgar’s initial fall from grace. Eventually father and son are reconciled, albeit on the brink of death and civil war.
John Keats found the line “Hark! Do you hear the sea?” to be the most haunting verse in King Lear.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kzshhdaMG01qz762fo1_500.jpg)




